Normally when I sit next to the soccer field, I keep myself busy with reading, catching up with friends or preparing work for the next day. But now and then I will stop what I am doing and observe what is happening during soccer practice. It is amazing the life lessons you can pick up when you watch with interest. Let me share this story.
There is a new kid in the soccer team with very little experience about the game. He plays his heart out and copy the behaviors of those around him. He has observed that every time the ball is kicked out of the field, his goalie has to take the ball and kick it back into the game. The boys will scream ‘”Out! Out!” until their coach blows the whistle and also scream “Out!” then his team will take the ball and kick it back into the game. This went on for quite a while. At a stage in the game I saw him arguing with the opposite team about the ball that was kicked out again. The other team wanted to kick the ball back in, and this boy got upset – it is their team’s side – they need to kick the ball back in. I heard the words from him “not fair” a few times. Coach blew the whistle and the other team could kick in the ball. This boy’s anger changed into hurt and I could see how upset he was by looking at his face. In his heart and mind he believed he was right, he was truthful.
What really happened, was that he was the one kicking the ball out. He was wrong, but why was he so upset? I realized that the only experience he had of soccer was the other team kicking the ball out with the consequence that his team got possession of the ball, he never experienced or seen or made the connection that there is a different rule when his team kicks the ball out. I called him closer after the practice and mentioned I saw how angry and upset he got. After he explained his viewpoint to me, I mentioned to him that the rule is not “every time the ball is kicked out your team kicks it in”, rather the rule is “who ever kicks the ball out loses possession of the ball and the other team can kick in”. A light-bulb went up for this boy. Now he understands, his anger dissipated and he started to play the game differently. He understands the bigger picture. He only had part of the truth initially, not the whole truth.
A funny story, but I realized in life we sometimes get upset, angry, hurt because we do not see the bigger picture, we have seen only a glimpse, we experienced only a bit and no one has sat us down and explained the bigger picture, the other side of the coin. We believe we are playing within the rules, but we don’t realized it is only one of the rules and there are more to the game than meets the eye initially. We get mad and frustrated when we play and it seems the other side gets unfair advantage. Are you SURE you are seeing the bigger picture? Take a step back, ask an observer to put the game back into context. As soon as you see and understand, you will be less angry. Be open for the advise from someone who sees the bigger picture.
Enjoy life and make sure you have the true rules, all the rules. The truth, nothing but the truth.